


A deadly wish

by Ameko



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell, Chara and Frisk are the same person, Frisk Needs A Hug, Frisk dies often, Gen, Lot of swear, Nonbinary Chara and Frisk, Not Beta Read, Past Child Abuse, Past Torture, Reader Is Frisk, Sans Remembers Resets, Tags May Change, Underfell Flowey, Underfell Papyrus, Underfell Sans, i don't know how to make pun, writing is hard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-08-29 18:15:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8500162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ameko/pseuds/Ameko
Summary: Frisk has only wish about one thing : to be dead. But the fate has decided otherwise by giving them the power to reset every time they die, after a fall in the Underground. Maybe going back to the Surface will make that change ?





	1. Let the games begin

**Author's Note:**

> Hello !
> 
> I'm really happy to finally post my first fanfic ! I love Undertale and Underfell is my favorite AU so I work really hard to add my own contribution on the fandom. I hope you'll like it !
> 
> English isn't my first language so I hope you'll be indulgent with me =x
> 
> Thanks to all my beta-reader and my sinpai @sinnyskelle <3

You’re running, breathless. You don’t know how long you can continue like this. But you have to reach the top of the mountain. You know what will be waiting for you if you succeed. But, you know what you’ll have to face if you fail.

 

“N-never… Pro-promise me… Never… again…” you said out aloud to yourself, while you finally see what you were looking for : the Underground’s entry.

 

While you’re trying to take back your breath, you answer to yourself, but with another voice :

 

“ _Yeah Frisk. Never again…_ ”

 

A little smile on your face, you close your eyes and let your body fall into the giant hole.

During your fall, you remember some stories about this place : the Underground. It seems that Monsters live there. But you don’t care about it. The only thing that interests you is the fact that nobody ever came back from this place. You’ll never be an experimental subject for scientists again. You’ll never scream painfully for hours. The voice in your head agrees. This voice, is your own voice, but she’s much more violent and wicked. Maybe it’s your true personality, after all these years of fear and misery. You call it Chara. But you know the truth : you’re alone. Like always. And, with this sad thought, you fainted and wait for death. A sweet and inexorable death.

 

***************************************

 

You open your eyes very slowly, before you sit. Your head hurts a lot, like the rest of your body. You try to remember what’s going on. Have you dreamt about the explosion and your escape? Are you still in the lab, back in your small cage?

You begin to lose your breath. Wait. Why are you still ALIVE? You can’t understand. It’s a miracle? A curse? You can feel the sweet touch of a bed of golden flowers under your legs. You try to first focus on your skin, and then your bare and wounded feet. Your pale and trembling legs are full of scars and bruises. The black number tattooed on your thigh. The blue and damaged fabric pieces cover your stomach and chest. Your forearms have turned black due to the repeated stings. Your tiny hands shaking with fear, then you touch your face; your lips are cracked from thirst. You close your mismatched coloured eyes, one green and one black for a few seconds. Finally you touch your short, dry, and dark hair. You look at the golden flower. You’re not at the lab. You raise yours eyes to the ceiling to see the light of the surface, and you start crying and smiling. You giggle, tears falling down from your hollowed face by hunger and lack of sleep. You made it. You're free.

 

“C-Chara… I… I did it… I’ll never go back there…

\- _Yeah. Stop crying, now. We can’t stay on this flower bed. Come on. Move._

\- S-sure.”

 

You sigh silently, take back your spirit. You stand up, with difficulties, and begin to move forward.

 


	2. To die and live again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, two chapters \o/
> 
> Let me know what you think about it ^^

" _Frisk, for the love of god, could you please STOP ?!_

\- I’m… I’m dying Chara…

- _AAAAARG… No you’re not ! Stop that !_

\- I’m hurt… My body… I’m going to die here… That’s the end…

\- _SHUT THE FUCK UP !_

\- Nobody’ll come… Maybe they’ll find my Soul here but…

\- _Frisk ! If you don’t shut your mouth, I swear, I’m the one who’s going to kill you !_

\- Do it, you freak ! You, the snow or my burning back, it’s not such a difference ! I’m going to die…

- _If you're not dying, I’ll torture you for hours in revenge…!_

\- Ok ! Ok, ok, you win ! Geez... "

 

You sigh silently. You have to stay determined, even if it’s so difficult sometimes.

 

" _Stop crying, you idiot !_

\- Shut up Chara."

 

Your eyes just found a light in the snow. A sweet and purple light. A SAVE-star. A smile reappears on your tired face. You don’t have to face your goat mom again. After all this pain, you’re sure that’s a good sign. When getting back up on your feet, you reach the star and kiss it, like you did in the Ruins. Flowey, who had said nothing during your conversation with yourself, approaches you to see the SAVE disappear between your lips, like if you ate it. You can see your HP recover. Even with a LOVE at 5, you’re pretty damaged. The cloths Toriel gave you, are in a bad shape. Your pants are dirty and your shirt is burnt in several places, although the long sleeves are still hiding the black marks on your forearm. You take your time before grabbing your little friend in your arms. You have to move before you freeze. Your nude back is no longer burnt but now you can feel the snow on your skin, marked by your past. You get a chill up your spine and start to walk.

 

"Let’s go Flowey. We can make it.

\- Yeah Frisk, don’t worry. But… could you stop speaking to yourself like you just did ?

\- Hmmm ? Why ? Does it scare you ? I’m sorry, Chara isn’t a bad person, they’re just not very good in relationships.

\- N-no, no, that’s not the point. But, you know that your voice change each time ? And you speak too loud… which might get us spotted. Like with Toriel.

\- _Great !_ , says Chara, before sighing.

\- Yeah, just like that…

\- Sorry Flowey, I’ll try to be more careful…"

 

Chara wants to say something, but you stop  them just before. Something is wrong, you can feel it, like when the sweet goat tryed to stop you with her fire. You’re near a small bridge and you’re sure to have heard a sound of a broken branch behind. You turn around to see the path you’ve just taken. You can feel your sins crawling on your back. How could you have not spotted him before ? A silhouette, a little taller than you. Strangely, you couldn’t see his face, a hand approaches you just before you can hear a voice coming from the shadow.

 

"Hey buddy. Don’t you know how to greet a new pal ? Shake my hand."

 

You’re suspicious. But you don’t want to be rude. You were about to take the hand of the stranger when you see something glowing in the shadow. His eye, starring at you with a palpable bloodlust. You notice that there is something in his bony hand. Like a… zap trick toy ? Chara smiles sadistically for you two.

 

" _Sure. But can you first take out what you have in your hand ? I’m sure you don’t want to KILL a new PAL, do you ?_

\- Chara ! Shuuuuuuush.", you tried, but too late.

 

The hood covering the face of your interlocutor fell, revealing a white skull. A skeleton. In the darkness of his orbits, you can clearly see a red pupil. He seems to be confused by your own altercation. Flowey stays silent , shaking with fear in his pot.

After what it seemed to be an eternity, or maybe just a few seconds, the skeleton started to laugh.

 

"Oh boy ! You’re really something, sweetheart !"

 

You watch him silently, not very sure of what to do.

 

"I’m sure to enjoy the hunt, now."

 

Before you know it, you’re impaled by some bones. You're bleeding, the pain is burning through your body. You can clearly see your HP decrease quickly. Flowey gasp in horror and you have no choice but let it fall on the ground. You wince in pain and just before the darkness takes you, you see him smiling, like if you were the best joke he had ever seen.

 

***************************************

 

You open your eyes whilst taking a deep breath, in panic. You look around, but you’re back at the door. On the ground, Flowey looks at you focused. You start to laugh.

 

" _That brat…!_ , curses Chara.

\- Frisk…?, Flowey asks. What happened ?

\- Do you really want to know ? Chara got us killed !

\- _Not my fault, you idiot._

\- Oh, no, that’s right ! You’re not the one that made the freaking skeleton mad !

\- _That piece of shit was about to kill us anyway ! Next time we meet, let me slap his face ! I want to see his smile disappear…_

\- Chara, shut up."

 

You fall suddenly quiet. Flowey sighs, your eyes start searching for something in the snow.

 

"Flowey ?

\- Y-yes ?

\- Do you think it’s possible for us to go through the forest, rather than the snow path ?

\- N-no, I don’t thinks so. Maybe, but you risk getting lost and dying…"

 

Chara starts cursing.

 

"Calm down. We can do it.

\- _Sure crybaby ! Oh, but… Do I have to remind you..? WE ARE AFRAID OF THE DARK !_

\- Chara please…

\- _And you know what ??? IT’LL BE NIGHT SOON !_

\- Frisk."

 

You made a little jump when you feel Flowey’s leaves on your arm. You lower your gaze on your small grass friend. You sigh and caress his petals with a small smile on your lips.

 

"Sorry. I’m a little bit scared. But, it’ll be ok. We just have to pass by this freaky skeleton. I’m sure it’ll be alright."

 

Filled with determination, you take the pot where the flower was and you start running. You don’t know why, but you're sure about something : this pile of bones is going to give you a bad time…

 

***************************************

 

This is the tenth time you woke up suddenly near the big door of the Ruins. You just start to laugh sadly. Flowey was going to say something but you place the pot against your chest before and you silently cry. The voice in your head is also quiet. You need time.

 

"I can’t… I can’t keep going… I can’t face him again… I can’t face his red glowing eye, his golden teeth, his laugh…

\- F-Frisk… it’s ok…, try Flowey.

\- No Flowey. You don’t understand… I see you die… I die. So many times… I start to think I should stay with Mom…"

 

You sigh, your eyes lost in the horizon, where you know the skeleton is waiting for you. You're just sure about one thing with him : he knows about the RESET, and he knows what you did before. Each fight with him proves it.

 

"I don’t know what to do. I try everything…

\- _…That’s not really true…_ , whisper Chara.

\- Yeah, you’re right. I have to take the risk. "

 

Flowey looks at you, not very sure to understand what you’re talking about.

 

"Frisk ? What’s going on ?

\- I’ve decided to try my luck. We take our own path, by the forest. I know where the skeleton is hiding. And I’m sure I can pass without being seen. And, if I don’t, we are going to die here until he gets bored."

  
  



	3. Play with the snow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter ! I hope you'll enjoy it !
> 
> And if you have something to say, the comment section is there for that ;)

**I can’t remember the first time I asked myself “Why ?”. Why am I here ? Why do they hurt me ? Why do they train me for ? Why do I have to live like this ? Why can’t I just die ? Why am I so determined to think, somehow, someday, will I be free ?**

 

You’re running. Again. Each step in this deep snow is a test for you. You have to stay determined. Flowey hangs in your back and erases the marks of your flight. Finally, you slow down, You hold your breath and you pass slowly through the trees, to go through the skeleton. Once passed, you can start breathing again. You did it.

 

**But I can’t forget the first time I asked “Can I kill them all ?”.**

 

Just after the bridge, you can see some sort of sentry-station and a strange lamp. Silently, you approach them, but you stay in the forest. All of a sudden, you see a big and terrific skeleton coming from the other way. He stops in front of the station and opens his sharp mouth to shout :

 

“SAAAAAANS ?!”

 

Hiding on the snow with Flowey, you keep silent, paralysed by fear. Your “friend” appears out of nowhere, visibly uncomfortable. So, his name is Sans ? You take note of it.

 

“Oh, Boss. What’s up ?

\- You’re asking me what’s up, good-for-nothing ?! Why aren’t you at your station ?!

\- Hey, chill, bro’. I heard something near the Ruins door so I was just checking it out.

\- Aaaaaaaand ?

\- Oh… hum… I-I think a human come out from it, but I didn't found him…

\- So, brother… You’re telling me that a HUMAN is here and you LOST it ?!”

 

You tremble. Creepy. So, they’re really on a human hunt ? 

 

“ _ Good news… _ ” says Chara, sarcastically.

 

**A few days before, they had given me a small puppy. Defenceless, cute and full of love. I was sleeping with it. I shared my rare meal with it. I played with it. But, this day, they had taken both of us for my training. In the white room, I was alone with the puppy. On the table, just a knife. Before they asked, I understood. “Kill it.” they said. And I began to cry and beg for mercy.**

 

After he had stroked his brother, the taller one left the place, followed by your murderer. You sigh finally when they disappear on the road. You wait a little and you get back on your feet and keep on going. You reach a junction, the road bisecting. You see a small mall, but, much more important, a SAVE-star !

You leave Flowey on the ground, take the purple light in your trembling and cold hands, and kiss it softly. Full of determination and reassurance, you giggle.

 

“Oh my God… We really did it ?

\- Yeah Frisk, said Flowey.

_ \- You doubted it, idiot ? _ , said Chara with a smile.

\- Let’s go ! We have to find a place to sleep tonight !”

 

You’re too happy to even think about the skeletons or others monsters. 

 

**Each time I had refused to kill my only friend, I received a very cold shower and a lot of kick. Of course, they didn't feed me. But I was happy to think that they would get bored and let the puppy free. After a week, I understood they would never get bored. And if I wasn't fed, the little one neither.**

  
After the SAVE, you were thinking it would get easier. But you were wrong. Monsters attacked you multiples times. Your clothes were ruined, and you couldn't stop shaking because of the cold. Flowey tryed to help you and warm you up.You don't have the courage to tell them that's useless. After some time had passed by, you heard a voice you would never want to hear again. The two skeleton brothers. The skelebro ? Much faster. You don't have time to hide, they spotted you in a second. Chara trys not to traugh a lot of curses to them and especially Sans. But, when Papyrus defied you to resolve his puzzles - Seriously, dude ? -, you noticed that the small one seems to look at you with a sorry face.

  
" _ What is wrong with him ?! _ , spit Chara, when they leave.   
\- Something wrong, Frisk ? Asks Flowey with a small voice, like if it is still worried  about the skelebro.   
\- I'm...almost sure that Sans looks like he was... Sorry. That doesn’t make any sense..., you sigh, before chortle a little. Good one..."   
  
Flowey looks at you, now sure about your craziness.

  
"What ? Good one ? What does that mean ?"

  
You look at the horizon,with a small smile on your face.

  
"You know. The pun.   
\- The WHAT ?   
\- The pun, Flowey. Sans, sense. You see ?"   
  
After the long silence of your little friend, Chara sighs.

  
" _ Don't bother trying to understand. It made me laugh and after all this crap, I think I deserve to think I made a good joke. _   
\- If... If you say so...", simply answer the flower, before you continue your deadly trip.

 

**Trembling, hungry, it had tried to bite me. I refused to touch the puppy and I ran away. But, just after, one of the scientists came to me. He told me that I have to kill my friend and if I refused another time, they would do it and Painfully.**

 

Back on the road, you cross the path of a dog named Doggo. He tryed to kill you, but, because he was an idiot and he kept screaming that he could only see the moving things, you manage to dodge all of his attacks and continue without any scars. Then, you reach the first puzzle. 

A large and empty place on the snow. Nothing else. But, when you pick up one’s ears, you can clearly hear a sizzle. You pick up some snow and thrown it to confirm you idea.

 

“An electric maze ? That’s odd.” you said before grabbing Flowey.

 

“Frisk ? Do you want some help with this puzzle ?

_ \- Nah, we’ll be fine _ , answers Chara.

\- But I want to be sure not to hurt you.” you continue with a little smile.

 

You look at the other side of the maze before suddenly throwing the flower in the air. Once they’re safe - and you know it because they insult you with a lot of imagination - you took more snow, poured it on the ground and made your way to the other side without a problem.

 

“ _ Easy. _ ” snickered Chara, with a victorious smile on your face.

 

“IF YOU DO THAT AGAIN, I’LL STRANGLE YOU, CHARA !

_ \- Sorry sweety, I didn’t do anything. That was Frisk. _

\- IT’S THE SAME !

_ \- You insult me, Flowey ! _ , huffed Chara, sarcastic.

\- Both of you, shut up right now.” you said, fixing the tundra.

 

Where you are, you can see Sans. You’re not sure if he had already seen you - or heard Chara and Flowey - but you aren’t gonna stay here to find out . You take your little friend and you run away, staying as far as possible from the skeleton. After a new puzzle and a pause to eat a snack you stole from Toriel in the Ruins, you encounter new enemies. Two standing dogs with a big axe : Dogamy and Dogaressa. After trying some actions to pass them without killing them, you finally… died.

 

**So, the day after, I took the knife. And I stabbed the little puppy. I let him die in my arms. "Can I kill them all ? I want to make them suffer...". It wasn't my voice. It was Chara's. From that day, they never left me alone. And I waited to fly away.**

 

***************************************

 

This reset is hard. You’re lying down on the snow. The pain of dying by being cut still resonate in your body. You try to move but you can only whimper. You bite your lip and look at Flowey, who seems to be really worried .

 

“I-It’s ok. I’ll be fine. G-give me two minutes…

\- Frisk… Can I help you…? I… I’m so sorry… If it wasn’t for me, you would be safe in Toriel’s house right now…

\- Shhhh Flowey. It’s ok. Breath. I make my own decisions . And Chara agrees : you’re not responsible of this. Ok ?

\- O-Ok…

\- Good. Now, let’s go.”

 

It takes you less time to redo all the path. The maze was much easy now so you did  it with Flowey in your arms. When your path crosses that of dogs, you take a deep breath before starting the fight. You are a little afraid, because of your past and you don’t want to hurt them. Suddenly, you remember that you didn’t eat your snack in this timeline. So, you try it. You shake it in front of them before sending  it away. Dogamy and Dogaressa follow it without any hesitation and you took the opportunity to flee.

After some new and easy puzzle - yes, compared of mental exercises that you have to do in the lab, those are cheap - you face Sans and Papyrus.

 

“What did he does to get here before me ???, you ask, confused.

_ \- Teleportation…? _

\- No time for jokes, Chara…

_ \- Shut up, you idiot, I’m not joking. _

\- I know…”

 

After the private conversation with yourself and a quick look on a nervous Flowey, you finally listen to Papyrus’s monologue. You sigh, wait for the end, then you look at the puzzle. And other maze ? But with color on the ground…

 

“To resume, the pink one didn't do anything, right ?” you ask Papyrus.

 

Surprised by your sudden insurance, the tall skeleton let pass a “Nyehehehe” before answering you positively. Then, the puzzle starts. Colors mix then stop on a strange configuration. You take notes of the harmless ones before jumping on them. The skelebros look at you without seeming to understand that you’re beating them at their own game, because you didn't play by the rules. When you finish it without a scratch, it seems they have withdrawal.

 

The place seems to been darker than before. The night isn’t far. You continue your road trip with Flowey, tense by the possibility of dying again. You are full at hp but you haven’t found a SAVE-star for a while. After a new combat with another dog - how many dog-monster live here ?! -, you reach a long rock formation, painted like a wooden bridge.

 

“HUMAN !”

 

You sigh deeply. Papyrus. C-O-O-L. He’s standing on the other side with his brother, laughing and threatening.

 

“You finally reach Snowdin ! But your little stroll is over now ! You’ll face the most PERFECT challenge I, the GREAT and TERRIFIC Papyrus, ever made ! Let me introduce you… The Gauntlet of Deadly Terror !”

 

Suddenly, somes weapons appears from nowhere. A flail, two spears, a flamethrower - What ?! -, a  mortar and a dog, hanging with a rope. All towards you. You shiver, trying to stay calm. Your black eye begins to be painful, but you only wink a little.

 

“Flowey. I have a really stupid idea… Are you with me ?, you whisper.

\- Yeah Frisk. I’m not going to let you down.

\- Good. Because it’s almost a suicide.”

 

You smile a little and transmit your instructions to your friend quietly. Chara lacks explode in laughter at Flowey’s daze reaction. It sigh before focus on the skelebros, who try to have your attention.

 

“You better hurry, Human ! Before I set fire to the bridge !” shoot Papyrus.

 

You laugh softly.

 

“ _ Set fire to rock… I really want to see it… _ , scoff Chara.

\- Frisk, I hope you know what you’re doing …

\- Don’t worry Flowey. At worst, I’ll have some fun before dying !

\- You’re hopeless…”

 

You laugh louder, making the tall skeleton very angry. But, when you suddenly move, he can’t do anything. Your green eye seems to turn black. You put Flowey on the floor for running right towards Papyrus and Sans. The smaller one looks through you with incomprehension, while the other one tries to trigger the trap.

Before he can, he receives a snowball on his face. Nice shoot, Flowey. Sans bursts into laughter while his brother tries to play it cool. But, when the second one hits him, he falls on the ground, making the little one laugh harder. You smile and pass the fake bridge without a problem. You jump to avoid the tall skeleton, still on the snow because of a third snowball who hit him right on his skull. You didn’t stop before being far enough to not hear the laughter of your murderer and the curses of his brother.

Flowey appears in front of you with a smile. You grab it into your arm and sigh. Finally, a town.

 

“Welcome to Snowdin, Frisk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any question or suggestion, visit me on my tumblr : http://amynastre.tumblr.com/


	4. In the dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter \o/
> 
> I really want to know what you think about it so... please, let me some comments ^^"
> 
> And thank you for the kudos <3

You sigh loudly. You just have found the perfect place for hiding : the big trash, behind Grillby’s restaurant. Flowey sleep on a corner, next to you. Like them, you are pretty tired, but you can’t close your eyes. Your body is shaking of cold and fear. It’s too dark inside, even with the small holes who let pass enough light to see formes.

At the last save, you didn’t expect to be dead after a few second, because of Papyrus. After the reset, you just jump on your side to dodge the attack before running away. Your head on your hands, you try to think about something else. But you can’t. You start to whisper to yourself :

 

“Chara… Why we can’t just died…?  
_\- You already know the answer, you crybaby…_  
\- If we were dead after the jump on the Underground, we wouldn’t have to suffer so much…  
_\- But who would have help our little friend ?_ ”

 

You take a look on the sleeping flower before continue.

  
“Our only friend… I hate when you have right, Chara.

_\- I know. But we know that we couldn’t go back on the promise we made to them. Bring them on the Surface. After, we can die in peace._ ”

 

You sigh again. Bad habit. But you see something interesting, suddenly.

 

“Chara…? Is it… what I’m thinking of…?  
_\- Oh. My. God. Yes. Take it !_ ”

 

You grab something. Oh yes. A knife. Sharp. But small. Perfect. You shiver with a smile. It takes a long time, but, finally, you found something very interesting.

You hide it on your shirt, before closing your eyes. Now, you can sleep. You take Flowey between your arms and you finally find your way to a dream. A terrifying dream about your multiples deaths and your past.

When you’re finally able to open your eyes, you’re sweating and trembling with fear. The golden flower look through you, their leaves on your cheeks. You try to smile, but you need some fresh air. Before they can say something, you grab your friend and you leave the security of your shelter. It take you a few time before you are able to breath normally again. But you made it. And the cold knife on your back help you to stay focus on something. You sit and smile.

  
“Hi Flowey. Did you sleep well ?

\- At the beginning, yes. Frisk… Why… Why did you fall on the Underground…?” ask Flowey with a small voice.

 

You slowly widened your eyes in horror, before shaking. You try to look away, hugging yourself.

 

“It… It’s none of your business, Flowey… I… I don’t want to talk about it…  
\- Frisk… Please… You cry in your sleep, begging for mercy… Begging for death… Why…?  
_\- SHUT UP ! SHUT THE FUCK UP !_ ” scream suddenly Chara, when you jump on your feet.

 

You are shaking so much, you can’t find air. You can’t stop shaking. You don’t want to talk about it. Or think about it. Flowey can’t move, afraid of your overreaction. They don’t understand you. How could they ? You’re not able to stop yourself and your voice mix with Chara’s in emotions.

 

“ ** _DON’T ASK ME ! SHUT UP ! SHUT UP ! SHUT THE FUCK UP FLOWEY !_**  
\- F-Frisk, please ! Calm down ! T-they are going to find us !  
**_\- I DON’T CARE ! SHUT UP…!_** Please… L-leave me… I… I can’t… Please…”

 

You’re breathless and you fall on your knees. You are terrified… and terrific. Flowey approach you, trying to help you to focus on the reality. But something else made it. Something else brings you back from your past. The familiar sensation of your sins crawling on your back. You turn your head to find Sans looking at you. You can’t see his pupil on his eye sockets. You get back on your feet to face him. You smile sadly.

 

“Oh. So you come to kill me again ?”

 

You start to giggle when you see that he didn’t answer.

 

“ _Well, too bad._ ” Chara says.

 

You fix him, a creepy smile on your face. You take your knife and you giggle. Flowey let escape a little gasp of fear. Sans seems to get back to reality. He take a step back, watching at you with a contorted face.

 

“So, ya finally show your real face, sweetheart. No more game. Take a step towards me and I’ll have a GOOD TIME.  
\- Oh, don’t worry Sans. I’ll never try to kill you or any monster. I don’t want to kill anyone. Except…”

 

You put the knife on your chest, and before anyone can do something, you say, with a mix of your voice and Chara’s :

 

“ ** _Except me._** ”

 

Then, you die. Again.

 

***************************************

 

You open suddenly your eyes, back on the day before. You grab Flowey, avoid Papyrus attack on your back, then you run. You run to Grillby’s restaurant trash. You put your friend on the floor, found the knife, hide it under your clothes, take back the flower, then you run again. They never going to catch you again ! You can decide when you want to reset or not ! You’re truly free ! You hide on a bush just in time to see Sans running. He stop not far from you. He looks so… afraid ? Concerned…? You can’t put a word on it. He continues his research and you sigh with a smile. Flowey look at you before whispering :

 

“Dead again…?  
\- Yep.  
\- So why are you so… happy ?  
\- Because I think I have a plan to pass through all the monsters and get you on the Surface.  
\- R-really ?  
\- Yep.  
\- Oh, Frisk…! Thank you !”

 

You smile and caress gently your friend’s leaves, before getting back on your feet. You have the feeling of being invincible. The night will drop soon but you want to try your chance and leave the village. So, with Flowey on your arms, you take the direction you never take before and you go towards Snowdin’s exit.

On the way, you step in front of a big wooden house with two mailbox. You chill a little when you see the names on it : Sans and Papyrus. So, they live here… You take note about it and continues. The cold get harder suddenly and you stop, unable to see beyond your nose. When you can finally open your eyes, you stop and start shaking. Oh, no. Papyrus. Right in front of you.

 

“So, Human. We meet again. I really want to make you paid for the humiliation on the bridge. So, I’ll catch you now and make your life a hell. Then, I’ll bring you to our king, so he’ll be able to break the barrier and free us all. I, The GREAT and TERRIFIC Papyrus will not fail to this important mission !”

 

You didn’t answer. You put Flowey on the ground and smile.

 

“Don’t worry my friend. Wait for me.”

 

Then, you turn your head towards Papyrus and giggle.

 

“Yep, let’s go. I wonder how many time it’ll take for me to win.”

 

And the fight start. Papyrus’s bones attack aren’t easy to avoid but you managed to not take too much damaged. With your LOVE at five, you have a great amount of HP. Your past training helps you, you’re sure about it. Your past of a murder too. But, suddenly, you can’t move easily as before. You feel heavy and you don’t know why. Then, you hear Papyrus’s laugh. You grin before smiling. You try something.

 

“Hey ! That’s really good, Papyrus ! No wonder why they call you the Great Papyrus !”

 

The laugh become a cough and you can see the skeleton avoid your look, while his white skull seems to be a little bit red. Maybe this magic ? Because his eyes glowing in red, like Sans’s. You sigh and try to flirt again, because you think that’s pretty obvious he can’t handle it. But, because of your less care, an attack got you right in the face. You reach the floor and cough blood. You take a small look on your HP and you gasp. Just three left. You grin and chill. While you try to get back on your feet, you start to search for your knife. But you can’t find it. You look around and you cross Sans gaze - since when he was here, watching the fight ?! -. He looks away the second after and, then, you take another attack and pass out.

 

When you open your eye, you’re not back on the street. You are trap on a shed. You look around. No trace of Flowey. No trace of your knife. You’re alone. On the dark.

“C-Chara… I… I lost Flowey… I lost the knife… And know, they gonna gave me to the king…  
_\- Yeah. Maybe. So… We’re going to died…_  
\- I can’t let our friend alone…  
_\- So we have to figure how to get out here before they come back._  
\- But…  
_\- Yes… It’s… so dark… So dark… Frisk… close your eyes… Close it…_ ”

 

You shiver and close your eyes, tears drop on your face. You try to have an constant breath, but you start panicking pretty soon. You’re unable to find air, head on the floor. Your body is shaking so much that it hurt you.

 

“I… I just… want to die… Let me… let me die…” you whispers, between two gasps.

 

After a while, you stop. You’re just too weak to continue. You sobs silently.

 

“Hey sweetheart… I began to think you’ll never stop crying… Are you… ok ?”

 

You open your eyes and you see the glowing red eye of Sans on a corner. You let Chara answer to him :

 

“ _Sure. That why I cry. Because I’m fine. You stupid bastard. You take my only chance to win…_  
\- Calm down kiddo. I come in peace.  
_\- PEACE ?!?_ ”

 

Chara made you get back on your feet, but you can’t stand and you take support on the wall.

 

“Let me alone Sans. I don’t want to play your little sadist game now, you try to say between two sobs.

\- L-Listen sweetheart. I… I think I start to understand you and… and I’m not sure to want to kill you again… And… In fact, I’m really sorry.  
\- Shut up, Sans. I don’t want to listen you. Let me alone or I promise, I’ll make your life a hell when I quit this prison.  
- Ok, ok. I’ll leave you. But, before…”

 

You watch him light a candle and let it for you before he disappeared. You can’t say a word. You stare the little flame and you lay down. You close your eyes slowly and you be finally able to sleep pretty well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any question or suggestion, visit me on my tumblr : http://amynastre.tumblr.com/


	5. Bloody memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be careful, this chapter contain mention of past child torture. Soooo... Enjoy =3

**You walk on a large and dark place. Suddenly, a golden flower with a face appear. It seems to be afraid, but, when it see you, it become careless.**  
  
**"Human, I'm sorry for you. This place is Hell for someone like you, you should go back where you from..."**  
  
**You don't understand. You know it's Flowey. Why didn't it recognize you ? Why do you come back to the Ruins ?**  
**Suddenly, you're with Flowey between your arms and you face Napstablook. The ghost is hostile. You fight him but you don't want to. You try to speak with him. And the fight stop when you befriend him. You hug the crying ghost who thank you before disappear.**  
**Now, you're with Toriel. The goat monster teach you how to cook, how to wash and  dress yourself. How to be a person, not just a subject. She see your scars and tattoo but she doesn't talk about it.**  
**But black take all your memories.**

**Pain.**

**So much pain.**

**Fear.**

**Screams.**

 

* * *

 

  
You wake up and close your mouth. You’re shaking. It was your scream. You are on your feet. The candle are dead and you can't see around. You try to keep your tears for yourself, but you’re hurt and terrified. Did you hurt yourself ?  
Your fists shiver. Something seems to fall from it. You can hear the ‘plop’ of falling drops. You lick the liquid.

 

"Shit... Blood..." You curses, before sitting.

 

"Sweetheart ?"

 

You jump. Sans ? What does he do there ?

 

"What...?" Your voice is trembling, broken by your nightmare.

 

The room is lit again. The skeleton has a new candle in his hand.

 

"Geez, kid... What are you doing ?  
\- None of your business...  
\- Seriously ? You're shaking so much than I can hear your bones under your skin, kid.  
\- Bad night. Why are you so concern about a prisoner ? I'll die as soon as your brother wake up.  
\- Don't give me that bullshit, we know exa..."

 

He never finish his sentence. You look at him, surprise, but he is suddenly at few inch of you. You try to run away, but he grabs your arm and curse.

 

"How have you done this ?! Did you try to broke the wall with your… tiny... fists…?"

 

His voice goes out when he looks the wall. Blood. Blood everywhere. And a rift. You thrill. You were really trying to escape during your sleep ? No wonder why all your body hurt that much.

 

"What the hell...?"

 

The skeleton looks at you, eye to eye. His iris begins to glow red. His bony hand softly touches your cheek, without paying attention to your cringe. Forefinger traces the shape of your eye while you freeze on place, frightened. You barely breathe, sure he’ll hurt you again, like all the others. Yet, he remains soft with you, as if he’s afraid to break you… Or as he’s looking into a mirror.

 

“Sweetheart… Are you… Are you half-blind…? Your black eye… Can you see with it…?  
_\- As if you cared about it, trashbag…_ , spits Chara between your teeth.  
\- Answer me, kid.  
\- ...I can’t see anything with it…, you gently say, after several long seconds of silence.  
\- ...So… you just like me, hum ?”

 

Sans smile sadly, letting you go. You step back from him, while he’s sitting on the floor with a satisfied sigh. He puts his hand in front of his right eye-socket, his gaze fixed on the ground.

 

“Listen, I… I don’t really know how to say that, but I think we’re alike, you and I. This is maybe why I don’t really want to kill you anymore. Or to see you suffer.”

 

You don’t look at him. You just listen what he has to tell you, since you don’t have a choice. But you can’t prevent you to smile a little, between fun and… pity.

 

“Seriously kid… I hear you during the night. Your scream. First, I was thinking that Boss had come to spend his nerves on you rather than me, for once. And, when I came, you’re crying and whispering something… pretty awful. For a child.

_\- Your compassion touches me_ , really, sarcastically spits Chara.  
\- I’m not joking.  
\- I’m not a child… I never was… And I don’t need your pity, Sans.  
\- Yeah. I saw.”

 

You freeze when your eyes meet his. Damn… His pupil shines with red magic. A shiver course you while your breath is accelerating. Why is he makes you so afraid, all of a sudden ?

 

“I’m half-blind too. But, for me, this is the right eye.”

 

You record the information slowly.

 

“I see your back too. It’s a sacred number of scars that you have. I think we could do a contest. Well… If I have skin. Instead, I have cracks on my bones.”

 

While you remain silent, he raised his sweater and thus discovers his ribs… all fractured and partially treated. A horror yelp escaped you before your hand can cover your mouth. Sans has a small grin.

 

“See ? The same. Are you ok to talk about it a little ? I’m not about to go back to sleep before Boss rises. And I think you either. Not true ?  
_\- As if I wanted to see your ugly face…_ , mutters Chara, quite annoying that you’ll accept.  
\- Come on ! Don’t be like that, sweetheart, I’m sure you like me, in fact.  
\- ...I… I really don’t want to talk about it, Sans. Really, really not.  
\- Yeah, I saw it last time. You know, before you commit suicid.”

 

You shudder at the memory. Delicious seconds when you thought you could control a minimum your destiny… You would laugh almost, given the situation that you are now.

 

“I guess it shouldn’t be easy. So, let’s make a deal. You tell me two or three things about your past, and I’ll do the same. And, if your charming second voice stay silent, I’ll bring you something to eat the next time we meet. With the resets, you probably don’t eat for a while.”

 

You wince slightly, despite a smirk, while your hand absently goes on your flat belly.

 

“I used to not eat often… One meal per week is already not bad. And Mo-... And Toriel made me a pie before I left the Ruins…”

 

You sigh gently to your sweet memories before your eyes loses on the blood stained wall. At least, the pain seems to have disappeared.

 

“Deal. If you start.  
\- Damn, you’re really hard in case, kiddo.”

 

You can’t help you to have a little amused chuckle. That you almost would lower your guard. ‘ _Stay vigilant. We don’t know his true intentions and he has already killed us several times…_ ’, echoes Chara’s voice in your head. You know they’re right. So, you wait.

Sans settles comfortably, lighting a new candle and start to tell you his story. How, one day, he came to the world in a laboratory. How he was used as a test subject. You feel your throat dry. The pictures of your past assails you. Chara repeated as a prayer : ‘Don’t panic, don’t panic. Breathe. Don’t panic, don’t panic. Above all, breathe.’

The skeleton stops when he had to tell how, after three years of torture, a new subject is born. His brother, Papyrus.

 

“Ok, enough for today. Your turn.”

 

You tremble a little. When you open your mouth to speak, you can’t find your voice. Tears appeared on the corner of your eyes.

 

“H-hey, sweetheart, are you fine…?

 

But you can’t. You close your eyelids while you take a deep breath . You gonna do something you didn’t do since your escape. You let Chara take control. Although Chara is you, it’s a part of you much more confident.

 

“ _Yeah, I’m fine._  
\- I said n-  
_\- I know what you said, you idiot. If you want a story, you shut your fucking mouth and you let me relate. Otherwise, you’ll have to manage with Frisk when they’re about to have a break down. But don’t worry. It’s like if Frisk is talking. I’m just not as nice as them._  
\- Alright, alright. I listen.”

 

Chara sighs deeply and begins to speak. It’s hard. Each word is like a knife that you driven in your own body before rip out it and push it again, and again, and again.

 

“ _I don’t remember to have parents. My first memory is about four white walls and a Rubix Cube. I was about six years. I remember a voice through a speaker who regularly told me I would have food only once I finish the puzzle. Fortunately, this was not true. Because I have taken a month to finish it the first time._ ”

 

Chara paused to observe the reaction of your interlocutor. He said nothing, staring you while his eye sockets are empty. So, you continue as if nothing happened, your voice replacing Chara’s while the words are becoming easier to get out.

 

“ ** _The exercises were always harder. The punishments, ever more painful. And then, one day, I was strap on a table._** ”

 

Your hands come slowly tighten your arms, while your gaze blank and you start you shake, a painful smile freeze on your face.

 

“I can still hear them. They were all excited. They stuck my face, held my left eye’s eyelids… Then, there was a bright light. I think I screamed… Probably for several minutes… When the pain has stopped, my throat was on fire… I couldn’t see anything… And they were all so happy… So… victorious… And I was so hurt… so… so hurt…”

 

Before you notice it, you’re hyperventilating. Sans finds himself right in front of you. You can’t do anything. He gently grabs your face and force you to look into his eyes. You can see his anxiously and, when his voice is heard, it’s very soft.

 

“Hey… Breathe kid… Like me… Inhale… Exhale… Slowly…”

 

You imitate his breathing with difficult. After a few minutes, you finally manage to resume a normal respiration. You’re exhausted. At the sight of your condition, the skeleton sighed softly and sat back on one of the still intact walls. He gently force you to lie down on the ground, making your head resting on his legs. The bones don’t really make a really nice position, but his hand who comes and goes in your hair soothes you. And, without even noticing, you fall asleep like this.


	6. Allies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bloody hell, this chapter was HARD to write. It may seems a little bit to fast on some passages but don't worry, we'll explore all the dark side of the actions when we need it.
> 
> Please enjoy and share it if you like it, reading comments and seeing kudos on my work help me to continu <3
> 
> I love you all !

You open your eyes slowly. A plaintive groan escapes you. All your body is painful. That is when the events of the past evening come back in your memory. You straighten suddenly, looking all around you. Sans isn’t here.

 

“Hello Frisk.”

 

The little voice makes you blench, before you finally see a friendly face.

 

“Flowey !”

 

The flower smile while it wrap their leaves around your arms.

 

“I was so afraid that something could happen to you…!  
\- Don’t worry, I know how to defend myself, gently replied Flowey.  
\- How did you find me ?  
\- Sans let me come in while you’re asleep.”

 

You remain speechless, surprised. So Sans’s really become your ally ?

 

“He told me to give you that. It come from Grillby’s.”

 

You catch the paper bag that your friend throws you. Suddenly, a delicious smell comes out and you rush it, devouring the contents hungrily. After your meal ends - you have also learned that this is called ‘fries’ - you sigh with pleasure.

 

“You feel better ?  
\- Oh yeah...!  
\- Perfect. Let's go.  
\- Where ?  
\- Sans hasn't lock the door, Frisk. We must leave now if we don’t want to deal again with Papyrus.”

 

You nod and stand up. You take Flowey in your arms and leave your prison, left open by your new and unlikely friend. Once outside, the sudden temperature difference jumps to you by the throat. You start to shiver, wincing.

  
"Damn... I'll die frozen soon...

\- You’ll be fine...? Snowdin’s exit isn’t far…”

 

Flowey trying to support you morally and, although Chara want to tell it to shut up, you smile slowly, remaining silent. After a short time of walking, you find yourself on the road, where you had clashed Papyrus yesterday. You cross your fingers, hoping to not retry the experiment. Unfortunately, the skeleton is there, in his battle body, arms crossed. It seems to wait you, an evil smile on his face. Chara curse loudly.

 

" _Seriously…?! Oh my… I hate this guy so much… Frisk, let me kill him, please…!_  
\- Be quiet, Chara, I try to think about something..."

 

You bite your lower lip to blood, trying to focus on the pain rather than the cold. You need a plan. Quickly. Before dying, or worse, be locked up again.

 

“H-hey, Boss !”

 

You lift your head suddenly, surprised. Sans just appeared near his brother. You feel your muscles tense but the wink he gave you disarm you enough that you’re able to release your breath - since when was you holding it, anyway ?! The slender man fixed you ally with a sneer.

 

“What are you doing here, bum ?! It’s YOUR FAULT if the human escape ! Step aside so I can capture them. Once again. I’d take care of your case later, moron.”

 

You wince and begins to shake with rage. What's his problem? You feel that Chara is about to yell at him an insult but the little skeleton stretches his arm, raising it between you and his brother.

“Yeah, regarding this, Boss… I don’t think it’s a good idea…  
\- HOW DARE YOU PUTTING ON MY WAY, RUNT ?!”, explodes Papyrus, his eyes bright with a murderous glare.

 

You tense when Sans stepped back, visibly terrified. You can see the reddish magic drops beading on his skull. You can’t stand all this. Your eyes start to burn and your vision becomes blurred. You hear Flowey talk to you but you can’t understand his words. You deposit it in the snow while the large skeleton advances toward his scared brother, fist raised. He’ll hit him. You don’t have time to think that your body move by instinct.

 

“S-sweetheart…?”, whisper Sans, shocked.

 

You are between the two opponents, ready to receive the blow of Papyrus, which also surprised that your friend, staring back at you blankly.

 

“Sans, move from this human. RIGHT NOW.”

 

Is this a hint of anxiety that you perceive in the voice of your opponent? Perhaps.

“ _You're the one who’ll move, Papyrus_ , spits Chara angrily.  
\- I’m a member of the Royal Guard ! Never the Great and -  
**_\- SHUT THE FUCK UP !_** ”

 

Your voice is so cavernous that the slender man freezes. Your body seems to be irradiating with a red aura. You're filled with DETERMINATION.

  
"You make me want to throw up. How can you do this to a member of your family ?! Kill me if you want, but I swear that if you touch Sans, ONE OTHER TIME, I'll make you pay."

 

You tremble with rage. Your eyes hurt you so much that you could faint. But the hand of your ally on your shoulder, and the roots of Flowey that come to surround your leg, soothes you enough for the pain to disappear. You breathe deeply, letting your anger fall.

Your gaze then arises on the large skeleton that hasn't moved from his location, watching you without understanding.

 

"Boss... Frisk isn't evil, and I wouldn't let you hurt them. If you don't accept it, then it's a farewell. Because I'll help them to reach the Surface. "

 

Sans's voice seems more and more distant. You see Papyrus recover a certain countenance, then go without a word. As he passes by his brother, Sans tensens, squeezing your shoulder harder, before the tall skeleton finally get out of your field of vision. You let escape a sigh of relief before falling on your knees brutally, exhausted.

  
"Frisk ?!, Flowey squeaks, worried.

\- H-hey, sweetheart, are you okay?  
\- I think... I'm going to sleep a little ...  
\- Ya know, the snow is a pretty cool place to chill, but I think you'll prefer sleep on a couch, nah ? "

 

You can't help but laughing at the pun, drawing a tender smile to your friends.

 

"Come on, kiddo. I'm sure Boss wouldn't try anything now... "

 

You feel his arms pass under your knees and your back as he carries you. You close your eyes, exhausted, and the next second, you're placed delicately on a comfortable surface. You open an eyelid to find that you're inside a house, on a red sofa. The floor is streaked with yellow-orange and dark orange stripes and the walls are black. The rest seems too blurry for you to be able to distinguish the furniture. Sans smile nicely and pat your head in an affectionate gesture. Flowey climbs on the arm of the skeleton while he place a blanket on your refrigerated body. And, quickly, you sink into sleep.

 

 

 

A sound wakes you with a spirt. You grimace by straightening up slowly, your body numbed. You are alone and you can take a look at the decoration that surrounds you. A television, a table against one of the walls, a floor with two doors, a poster with a skull on it and an open room connected to the living room. It is from there that you can hear the noises coming. A conversation ? You remove the black blanket that covered you to get up. A squeal of pain escapes you as your joints crack abruptly.

You stretch a little before approaching what appears to be the kitchen. In front of you, Papyrus sits on one side of the table, Sans in the other, and Flowey is in the middle. Silence is instantaneous as they perceive you. Chara wants to bore the big skeleton, but you're just greeted them with a friendly smile.

"Hey sweetheart. Sleep well? Come and sit, Boss made some lasagna.  
\- Lasagna ?”

 

You seem still tired but that doesn’t stop you from sitting next to your little friend. The royal guard doesn’t leave you a single second of his murderous look, content to serve you a plate of a hot dish. The famous lasagne. You look at them attentively, surprised. The smell is very nice. But you can’t recognize the ingredients. After all, the laboratory’s rations didn’t really taste and Toriel had a certain obsession with snails, which doesn’t really help in this kind of situation. Perplexed, you take a look at Flowey, who nods softly to answer your silent question. Reassured to have the approval of the only monster who always wanted to help you, you start your meal. Once the first bite swallowed, you realize two things: it’s delicious and you are hungry. Without asking for your rest, you devour the contents of your plate. A glad little sneer from Papyrus makes you think that he’s satisfied to see that you appreciate his kitchen. At your sides, the skeleton with the golden tooth settles more comfortably on his chair, taking out a yellow plastic bottle.

 

“SANS ! Stop with the mustard ! It’s disgusting !  
\- Boss, aren’t you a little too… spicy about it ?  
\- AND STOP WITH YOUR FUCKING PUNS !  
\- I’ll take that as a… condiment~.”

  
While Papyrus hardly holds a cry of annoyance and Flowey hides his face with one of his leaves in despair, you can’t help but laugh. When you recover your calm, you find that everyone looks at you with surprise. You see Sans smile in a corner, amused and reassured to see that you manage to relax, little by little, and despite the presence of his brother in the room. This one sighs at this moment, making you raise his head towards him, before saying, in the gentlest way possible:

 

“Human… Frisk, right ? I wanted to…”

  
He hesitates. Chara scans him insistently and you find it hard to stop them from making a sharp remark.

 

“Papyrus, listen, I’m sorry I got annoyed, but I couldn’t stay without doing anything when yo-  
\- I know humain, calm down. My irrecoverable brother over there told me... You have guts, I respect that. And even if it’s my duty to bring you to the king, I have promised to your two protectors to not attempt anything against you. Consider yourself lucky, otherwise you’ld already be dead.  
_\- Say the soldier who had two chances to kill me and preferred to lock me warm_ , provocate Chara before you can repress them.

 

Sans bursting with laughter as the big skeleton vexes, snatching a corner smile at Flowey.

 

“Whoua, Boss ! Do you want some medicine for that burn ?  
\- For the LOVE of Asgore, why you can’t just shut your mouth ?! As for you, little slut, I was trying to be nice with you !  
\- Oh, Paps, I’m sorry !, you try to repress your laughs, without really succeeded. Chara really hate you, but I know they’re be mean, I’m sorry.”

 

Papyrus passes a hand in front of his sockets, sighing, before straightening up.

 

“I will not say anything. For this time !  
\- Thank you, you gently breeze before getting up, catching Flowey's pot in passing.  
\- H-hey, kid, where are you going ?  
\- I can’t stay Sans, I need to move forward. I made a promise and intend to keep it. I’m determined.  
\- I’m not gonna let you go alone.”

 

Standing upright, the skeleton grabs his black mantle, under the inquisitive gaze of the royal guard. After an exchange of eyes, Papyrus leaves the kitchen, stopping just before leaving to blow:

 

“Sans… I know I haven’t really been the best brother with you. So, avoid dusting, if you want it to change one day.  
\- S-Sure, Boss. See you around.”

 

Shrugging, the slenderman leaves the house. Now that you're alone with your friends, Flowey looks up at you, wondering:

 

“What are we doing now, Frisk ?  
\- We keep moving. We have stars to see, after all.  
\- Yeah, let’s go sweetheart. Waterfall’s waiting for us.”

 

Acquiring, you take the head of your little group, full of hope and determination.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any question or suggestion, visit me on my tumblr : http://amynastre.tumblr.com/


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